~Soulfully-Yours

No Title

I thought it was lesson learned.
I’d gotten all the pain I’d earned.
Then he came back, took me by surprise.
I thought by agreeing I sealed my demise.
I never thought I’d give it up again.
How could it be trusted with any more men?
Last time I held it out to be taken…
It was denied, leaving it forsaken.
It hurt so bad I could hardly bear it.
After all I’ve gotten, that was the worse hit.
But he holds me just the same.
I thought he planned to leave me maimed.
Yet, he’s still here.
Tells me there’s nothing to fear.
He’s all I’ve ever needed.
When I think of it all, I feel so conceited.
He deserves better than me.
But he continues to disagree.
What can I do?
He doesn’t know what I’ve been through.
I can’t even explain.
I know what’s right, yet I refrain.
I should end it all.
Yet I continue to stall.
My family doesn’t like that I’m with him.
They think he’s just a temporary whim.
I’m afraid of what I’m feeling.
I’m afraid it’s my heart that he’s stealing.
I don’t want to say it for real.
What if it’s not the way he feels?
I couldn’t handle it if he doesn’t return the affection.
It’s no less than what I deserve for my constant dejection.
When is the right time to ensue?
What’s a girl to do?
I’m a woman now.
I can not ask how.
I have to know.
Just let it flow.
When it’s the right time, it will just come out.
Without even taking time to properly route.

Then a new thought arose.
Around him, no time is grim.
And I don’t care who knows!
That I love him.

I watched you as you left me alone
A tear is all that is left for me to give
You’re memory that used to bring a smile
Is now like the knife in my back
Killing me slowly
From the inside out
I can’t believe you really left
I didn’t even say good-bye to you
How could I?
I’m not ready to let go
Why can’t I ever look into your eyes again?
I can no longer tell you how much I love you
You’ll never be mine again
To have and to hold
Pictures are all I have now
Though nothing can replace the real thing
I’m glad you were mine
Even for just a short time
Though you are gone forever
From my physical grasp
I will see you again
When it is my time to pass

My Love

I feel like crying, but no tears come.
I’ll never be relieved because I won’t succumb.
I’m tired of living my life without him.
But doing what I think is going out on a limb.
Fearing now, he’s pushing me away.
I wouldn’t plead, I’d beg him to stay.
I’m through with thinking he’s to good for me.
I’m just going to let go, live and love free.
Every time I try to put it to words, I feel…
That words alone can’t explain this deal.
Not even he knows how much I care.
But telling him so, I wouldn’t dare.
Not hearing him say it back is now my worst fear.
I can’t even say that I’m the strong one here.
When I don’t see him for a long time, I cry.
I can’t hold it, about that I can’t lie.
I feel so empty when he’s not around.
Unintentionally, he turned my life upside down.
I wouldn’t trade him for anything.
Just the sound of his voice makes my heart sing.
I want to tell him, I really do.
If only words could say it…if he only knew.
Those three words won’t do the trick.
They aren’t enough anymore, it makes me sick.
But it’s all I can think of, I’m not that creative.
It has to be my own, something innovative.
My poems and words I’ve writ…
If he saw them, he still couldn’t grasp it.
I need him more than he knows…more than I should.
But I wouldn’t change that, not even if I could.
Because the feeling when he’s there…
Nothing is better than that feeling so rare.
I don’t even know what to do next.
I think the future will put us to the test.

The rhyming here is getting sad.
Let’s just be honest, it’s down right bad.
So, though I want to say more…it’s been fun.
I think, for now anyway…this poem is done.