Kind of on the Amateur side...
Journal Entry: Sat Mar 15, 2008, 2:31 PM
No Title
I thought it was lesson learned.
Id gotten all the pain Id earned.
Then he came back, took me by surprise.
I thought by agreeing I sealed my demise.
I never thought Id give it up again.
How could it be trusted with any more men?
Last time I held it out to be taken
It was denied, leaving it forsaken.
It hurt so bad I could hardly bear it.
After all Ive gotten, that was the worse hit.
But he holds me just the same.
I thought he planned to leave me maimed.
Yet, hes still here.
Tells me theres nothing to fear.
Hes all Ive ever needed.
When I think of it all, I feel so conceited.
He deserves better than me.
But he continues to disagree.
What can I do?
He doesnt know what Ive been through.
I cant even explain.
I know whats right, yet I refrain.
I should end it all.
Yet I continue to stall.
My family doesnt like that Im with him.
They think hes just a temporary whim.
Im afraid of what Im feeling.
Im afraid its my heart that hes stealing.
I dont want to say it for real.
What if its not the way he feels?
I couldnt handle it if he doesnt return the affection.
Its no less than what I deserve for my constant dejection.
When is the right time to ensue?
Whats a girl to do?
Im a woman now.
I can not ask how.
I have to know.
Just let it flow.
When its the right time, it will just come out.
Without even taking time to properly route.
Then a new thought arose.
Around him, no time is grim.
And I dont care who knows!
That I love him.
- Mood:
Neutral - Listening to: Sometimes I Can't Make it Alone - Mae
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