No Title

I thought it was lesson learned.
I’d gotten all the pain I’d earned.
Then he came back, took me by surprise.
I thought by agreeing I sealed my demise.
I never thought I’d give it up again.
How could it be trusted with any more men?
Last time I held it out to be taken…
It was denied, leaving it forsaken.
It hurt so bad I could hardly bear it.
After all I’ve gotten, that was the worse hit.
But he holds me just the same.
I thought he planned to leave me maimed.
Yet, he’s still here.
Tells me there’s nothing to fear.
He’s all I’ve ever needed.
When I think of it all, I feel so conceited.
He deserves better than me.
But he continues to disagree.
What can I do?
He doesn’t know what I’ve been through.
I can’t even explain.
I know what’s right, yet I refrain.
I should end it all.
Yet I continue to stall.
My family doesn’t like that I’m with him.
They think he’s just a temporary whim.
I’m afraid of what I’m feeling.
I’m afraid it’s my heart that he’s stealing.
I don’t want to say it for real.
What if it’s not the way he feels?
I couldn’t handle it if he doesn’t return the affection.
It’s no less than what I deserve for my constant dejection.
When is the right time to ensue?
What’s a girl to do?
I’m a woman now.
I can not ask how.
I have to know.
Just let it flow.
When it’s the right time, it will just come out.
Without even taking time to properly route.

Then a new thought arose.
Around him, no time is grim.
And I don’t care who knows!
That I love him.